Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2025
I appreciate the author’s concern for her readers in her content warnings. This was a horrific, but well-told account of what has unfortunately become such a common occurrence in families. The facets of adoption & religion create an additional layer of entangled trauma for the survivors & sinister motives of the perpetrator.
This story parallels my own in several ways: same “man of God” father but different church denomination; the unfolding of the abuse realizations; subsequent fallout after speaking out; healing processes that ebb & flow over time; & the reframing of God & religion.
One laughably memorable moment was the description of the effect that Amy Grant’s divorce had on her church. This scandal had all the mother hens clucking in our church as well, but in our church the scandal started prior when Amy dared to change into multiple “worldly” outfits during her concert. After that teeth-gnashing debacle, I became Amy’s fiercest defender in the youth group. (I was yet unable to stand up for myself, but managed to voice my support for Amy.)
My hope for all victims of abuse is that after we struggle through the process of surviving, at some point we eventually learn to thrive as well. Surely it is within our reach, given that we managed to survive “The Satanic Panic” of the 80s.
Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2025
In this unflinching memoir, the author makes her message clear: you are not responsible for the trauma others subjected you to, nor are you obligated to save the faces or reputations of your abusers, even if they are the very pillars of the community who supposedly rescued you to begin with. Not a self help book for those looking, but a necessary account of the necessary bravery involved in leaving a life spent taking responsibility for everyone else, with burdens no one should have carried to begin with. By the time the main character sets herself free from the grooming and gaslighting, the catharsis is visceral, and the reader is cheering for each new boundary as it is being set, as we watch Maris take back her power and for the first time begins to live a life that is unapologetically her own.
The Secret Keeper 